Book 1: My Charmed Ones!: Ch6

“Book 1: My Charmed Ones!”

By:  (Mister) Jimmie Ray Giboney.

Chapter 6: “Angel: Charmed × 2!”

There was a moment of silence that was broken when the green Lorne said, “Are we being Punked?” That was a reference to the Ashton Kutcher reality series “Punk’d” involving pranks against celebrities by celebrities that was of course inspired by Alan Funt’s classic “Candid Camera”. But if they were being pranked for any television program or theatrical movie, where would the cameras be? They would need a light source! Until the flashlight users arrived, it was dark. But Lorne was being serious. He had a point, and not just on the tip of a horn on his head either.  This looked to good to be true! It looked incredible! Which it was, unless you believe in Magic, which Lorne wasn’t thinking about.

The two versions of Harmony were suddenly shoved away from each other when out of the blackness, three more Human females dropped downwards, hitting the concrete hard! The Harmony dressed in the sexy, white, business dress, was barely caught by her startled teammates. The Harmony dressed in her own superheroine costume, stopped herself mid-flight. That was one way to tell the two teams apart. The females-only team was dressed like comic book superheroines, masks and all. (Some had skirts, all micro-minis. Some pants, with some short, some long. The long pants form fitting. The shorts, short enough to show butts, but not crotches.) The other team wasn’t. Plus they had males involved. That team had no pregnancies. But some on the all-female team looked to be pregnant. But not in an ugly way, or fat way. They were tight, almost looking like they may be faking it! Unlike Piper.

The Piper who along with Sister Phoebe and Half-Sister Paige, was hitting hard on the concrete floor of the tunnel. After many instances of being smacked across rooms, and down hallways, they were used to the concept, even if they didn’t like it. This pregnant Piper wasn’t showing yet. Or if she were, it was just barely noticeable, if compared to her non-pregnant siblings. She wasn’t developed far along enough for the baby to protect her with his own Magic powers. Like when she was pregnant with Wyatt. Piper and Cole got into a fight, that didn’t harm them, but there was plenty of collateral damage to the house so her husband Leo had to break them up.

The Halliwell Sisters hit the floor apart, with no one breaking another’s fall. But on the plus side, after plenty of experience, ironically none of it in roller derby rinks, they landed like falling skaters. Butts first, legs spread out, arms forward reaching over their extended legs. If they had more time, Phoebe could have used her Levitation Power to break her fall. Paige could have used her Orbing Power, while Piper could have used her Time Freeze Power to break her fall. But the vortex was not wide. They had looked like they were shrunken when they were being absorbed in. When the vortex deposited them, they looked like they had expanded in mid-air, after being squirted out like they had come from a giant, cake-icing dispenser squeeze tube.

Like the kind professional bakers and/or chefs use. Or you could be mean spirited and say they looked like some giant, black beast, had defecated them out, but you are not that mean spirited are you? Their butts hurt, and they all three loudly exclaimed their sudden impact pains. They sat there practically motionless, recovering from their ordeal, and getting their breaths back.

Floating Harmony came down to their aid. Fallen and then caught Harmony, and her teammates had yelped varying terms of astonishment, with Spike’s “Bloody Hell!” being the loudest. The tunnel was crowded by three more bodies. Flashlights had been dropped, in order to catch Harmony. The flashlights didn’t break, but they had bounced and rolled, so their beams were at strange angles to the scene. So the three beams of light were no longer concentrated on the center of the action. Causing some more gasps, some cussing, and some cursing from the same team. Harmony’s backwards fall had exposed her panties to the others, across the way that could still see everything that was going on. Including the floating, or hovering, Harmony as she flew down to help with the new drop-ins. This distracted her enough that she paused to gawk.

Actually her husband had done the pausing for them. Not that Princess Harmony could blame him. But there were damsels in distress who needed help! Right? Her husband loved beauty, especially the sexy kind. But he was not a wife swapper, or a trespasser. He could and did accept duplications, but only if they were not with another guy. They had to be single in all connotations of the word. So his pause, gave her pause, and she noticed who the three new arrivals looked like! Uh, oh! Now not only were there two of her here, there were three more of the Charmed Ones here! Golly! Only three? Why only three? Shouldn’t there be a fourth one and a fifth one? If there was going to be more of them why not have the whole set?

Miss Harmony was unaware of her having flashed her panties to a whole lot of women. But she was indignant about having been knocked off of her feet. At least she was caught so her butt didn’t impact on anything, thus saving her dress from possible ruin. Spike’s shouting in her ear of “Bloody Hell!” didn’t help her feel any better though. He had been so loud, she wasn’t sure if Angel or Wesley had said anything either. The “Old One”, Illyria, hadn’t moved a muscle to help, nor had she said anything either, not even in exclamation. She was just standing there, like she had no place else to be, and nothing else to do. Lorne had reacted in conjunction with Angel, to catch her and break her possible body slam. But he hadn’t said anything new, as if he were expecting an answer to his previous query about a possible link to that cute Ashton Kutcher. As the men got back to their feet, from a knees bent position, so too was Harmony lifted back to her feet.

The Illyria the Old One, in Fred’s body, apparently came to a decision. She gestured, and a visible, albeit translucent, force shield appeared in front of their group. The doppelgangers were now separated from them. Harmony thought this was a positive checkmark on the proverbial list. Maybe their version of Fred was doing this in reaction to the sexier Winifred on the other side?

Miss Harmony had a secret, sexual fantasy involving making out with herself, and maybe this would save her from such a temptation? She had seen that installment of “The Jerry Springer Show” about identical twins who had sexual relations with each other and thought of it as an “advanced form of masturbation”. She had been suspicious about such activities, because of certain videos made by “Playboy Video” that she had seen on display in various video shops about the city. Her curiosity had been aroused, for as one aware of Magic, the situation could very well come up. Sure enough, she had met her double! There was the temptation factor!

So maybe for now, the force shield was a good idea. She wanted to do right by her boss, Angel. He had been very good for her a lot lately. Her boss Angel said, “Good thinking!” to the “Old One” known as “Illyria” too. Albeit no one seemed to want to say much, just yet.

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige got their breaths back, and carefully regained their self-composure even as they carefully, slowly, regained their feet to a standing upright position. They used their hands to dust themselves and each other off. If Paige had thought of it, she could have removed the dust by saying, “Dust!” But it was more fun to watch them, to see them using the hands-on approach. They groaned and moaned too. They took stock of their new situation. In unison the three of them said, “Oh, crap!” The one being addressed as “Phoebe” had a short hair-style. Another noticeable difference. The three of them looked up to where they had fallen from. The one addressed as “Piper”, at least she matched their “Piper” name wise. She said, “Wyatt! Wyatt, sweetie! That was cute! But Mommy needs for you to bring us back to you now! Sweetie! Sweetie?!” They could tell by her behavior, inflections, and tone, that she was addressing a baby.

She didn’t get what she wanted though. Instead, the baby named “Wyatt” appeared in her arms with a shower of sparkling blue and white light! The baby’s mother Piper said, “Oh, dear! Wyatt! What have you gotten us into now?!” while Phoebe and Paige said, “Crap!” in unison. Piper was holding Wyatt close to her, protectively, while trying to gently chide him, and get him to understand what it was he had apparently done to himself and to his mother and aunts. She looked up at her sisters with a smirk on her face though, because of the pun! They were in a sewer system! Albeit there didn’t seem to be any actual crap involved thus far. (Of course not! Storm sewers and septic sewers are two different systems in modern cities!)

Wyatt was so cute! He must have been irresistible as the superheroic looking women suddenly rushed in asking Piper if they could admire him, saying the usual lines about cute babies, and such. It never seemed to fail! Bring a cute baby into almost any situation and people had to come and see it, and to coo at it. If they could tell she was pregnant again, they may start to rub her belly! Those behind the force shield seemed to be content where they were, for now. Was that a good sign? Phoebe and Paige, acted like they were her personal bodyguards, trying to keep paparazzi away from her and Wyatt in front to the “Emmy Awards Show”, while on the red carpet.

Meanwhile, Princess Prue, Princess Piper, Princess Paige, and Princess Pepper Ann, having been affected too, were trying to get a close-up look at the cute baby. Then what could only be described as the sound of a lot of female butts in Magical outfits, being gently swatted by male hands all at once, occurred, and the women with the affected butts backed away from the Halliwell-Matthews team of Charmed Ones. The ones not swatted could still appreciate the sound though, and they all looked around for the source or cause of it, and found nothing detectable to them, not even to the Old One also known as “Illyria”.

Then as if obligated to appease some admiring fans watching from afar, Miss Harmony, she asked for the shield to be let down. The guys mumbled a debate, and then Angel approved of her request. Harmony stepped forward and went directly to her almost look alike. “Almost”, as she couldn’t help but notice the larger breasts, that looked like they were engorged with breastmilk, possibly. Then she formally introduced herself, handshake and all. She then said, “Harmony! May I hug you?” and before she could go off on an exposition tangent to explain why, she got to do the hug she asked for, and when the hug was over there was some breastmilk involved!

What’s the next thing you know? Well, besides knowing that old Jed’s a millionaire, now you know that the others had to do the same with their duplicates! I.e., Princess Winifred and the Old One Illyria. Princess Winifred had to do the walking, as the Old One Illyria wasn’t moving anywhere without Wesley beside her. When Princess Piper met Witch Piper, and they hugged, they both had breastmilk issues. When Princess Paige and Witch Phoebe hugged, it was one sided, with Princess Paige being the only lactating one. Then when Witch Paige and Princess Pepper Ann hugged, it was the same way as Princess Pepper Ann got Witch Paige wet!

Then Princess Prue stepped forward, as did Princess Phoebe. They asked in unison, “Where are our doppelgangers? Why don’t we have anyone to meet, greet, and hug?”

While this was going on, the guys had decided to go introduce themselves to Princess Buffy Anne, or “Buffy II”, Princess Faith, Princess Willow, Princess Amy, and Princess Dawn as well. But especially to Princess Cordelia, Princess, Anya, and Princess Tara, who had been dead to them. They wanted to hug Princess Winifred too! But she was with the Old One Illyria still. Meanwhile, all of the scents from the breastmilk spots were having an affect on Baby Wyatt, who was thinking it was time to drink! Which he indicated by grabbing his mother’s breasts to let her know that he was thirsty again!

But the hug festival halted suddenly, leaving Baby Wyatt’s hand sounds as the only audible sounds, as he tried to access his mother’s two feeding outlets on his own. No one seemed to care, because of the sudden detectable sadness of Princess Prue and Princess Phoebe’s questions. There was a dramatic pause. Baby Wyatt had found a nipple and began to suckle, all on his own initiative. But no one noticed. The affect of his comic relief, though unintended for his part, was wasted thusly.

Witch Piper, Witch Phoebe, and Witch Paige, explained as a team, the circumstances of their Witch Prudence’s death. Seeing this Princess Prue alive, meant a lot to them. Especially to Witch Paige, who had only met Witch Pru as a dog, and as a young, little girl, thanks to time travel. Not to mention having only photographs to see her face by. They had dealt with Princess Prue first, as they had no idea who the other “Phoebe” was! So it was their turn to listen as they were told about the whole fraternal twins issue, or matter, or concept. Which sort of explained it, but then they had to compare notes on, “The Power of Three” versus “The Power of Five”. Witch Paige also noticed that unlike with herself, her doppelganger, named “Princess Pepper Ann”, had kept her larger bust!

When she brought it up, and asked how she could maneuver as well with them, Princess Pepper Ann said that she had not used a Magic Spell to enlarge her breasts. Pregnancy had done it for her. But then Witch Paige said, “Yeah, but I mean, taking that into consideration.” And Princess Pepper Ann said that she had always had larger breasts than her schoolmates, ever since she hit puberty. Witch Paige puzzled on that for a while. It would be in the back of her mind from then on, until later circumstances would remove it from her mind altogether.

Meanwhile, Angel, Wesley, Spike, and Lorne, had to deal with explaining the deaths of their Miss Buffy, and Miss Buffy returning from the dead more than once. How Miss Amy had been a caged rat for some time. How Miss Faith had been comatose, but recovered. How Miss Willow had become a ghost, and met her vampiress, alternate reality self. How she had gone Dark, and returned. But what was worse, was telling them that Miss Tara died, Miss Anya died, and Miss Cordelia died, and had not been able to come back like Miss Buffy.

The three Princesses thought that was most unfair! Then the Goddess Glorificus and Miss Dawn were brought up, as was Mistress Joyce Summers. There were mutual exchanges of looks, as one side learned of the divorce of the Summers, and then of Goddess Glorificus’ pursuit of Miss Dawn, and of Goddess Glorificus’ death while in her brother Ben’s body. Then of how Mistress Joyce Summers had a brain tumor, and had died from surgical complications after she checked herself out and went home against doctor’s advice. Of how Miss Buffy had sacrificed herself to save her little sister, and so on and so forth. Then Angel, Wesley, and Spike listened. They heard, or learned, that the “parental Summers” had never divorced, and that Mistress Joyce Summers was still alive, which made them all happy to hear! Then they learned that in this alternate scenario world, Princess Glory and her brother Ben had never been fused into one being. Princess Glory had never been evil! Instead, her brother Ben had been the evil one! This was too bad, as males were a rarity these days. Yes, it was still Prince Rupert Giles who had the opportunity to kill Ben by breaking his neck! Princess Glory was a goddess, but not an evil one, and she still had her keys intact, and Princess Dawn was not one of them!  Princess Glory wasn’t here, because she was a “shy goddess” when it came to “divine intervention”. Angel and Spike, they tensed as they waited to hear the next questions answered, about who did Angel and Spike…..

Princess Buffy Anne Dragon, or Princess Buffy Anne Free Spirit, also simply known as “Buffy II”, she said to Angel and Spike, “Who do you guys do it with? Your respective wives of course. Should I be suspicious about something here?” And then shyly, Angel and Spike explained their tumultuous relationship triangle. This Buffy II looked like she emotionally wanted to vomit, but wasn’t biologically able to do so! Once she recovered, Angel and Spike were told names. Angel had been bitten by a Vampiress Darla, who sired him into a vampire. Then the two of them had made a poor girl named Miss Drusilla, a vampiress. Vampiress Drusilla, she then turned Master William into a vampire, and changed his name to “Spike”, because he had used a railroad spike to torture a man with. Well, so far this wasn’t news to either vampire, Angel or Spike.

Princess Buffy Anne continued her narrative flow saying, “The four had ravaged Old World Europe, feeding on innocent people as needed, and then some. Then the Twentieth Century arrived, and in the Nineteen-Thirties, the ‘Golden Age of Super-Heroics’ had begun. So the four of them avoided the Western Hemisphere, since so-called ‘Mystery Men’ had begun in the United States of America. The Lone Ranger, Tonto, and Zorro had appeared in the Nineteenth Century actually. But then such men as they didn’t appear again until the middle of the Nineteen-Thirties. Well, okay Tarzan was in Africa, not the Americas. Still the majority of super-heroes was North American, or came to North America from elsewhere. The ‘Justice Society of America’, was the most famous example of a group of them.” Spike interrupted her then, and he could tell she didn’t like being interrupted when she was in exposition mode.  Spike said, “What about Captain Nemo and the Nautilus crew and his colleagues? Didn’t they start in the Nineteenth-Century too?” Princess Buffy Anne seemed impressed with him as she said, “Well, yes ‘The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’ began at the turn of the last century. Could you please not interrupt the narrative flow, though?!”

The women had been taking turns answering the men’s many questions. That’s because, Angel realized suddenly, they were behaving as equals! This “Princess Buffy Anne” wasn’t acting as the group leader, like the Miss Buffy that he and Spike were used to dealing with. But why was she talking about fictional characters as if they were real? Spike was teasing them by his random name dropping of these characters. Angel thought Xander was the only one with so much comic book trivia in his head! Well, this was a different side of Spike!  As Spock would say, “Fascinating.”

Angel thought about how he was in love with Buffy and Cordelia. How Spike claimed he was in love with Buffy, if not Harmony. Maybe Harmony? Angel and Spike, at the moment, both were trying not to drool, as they tried not to stare at how the women were dressed! Buffy’s black boots were long! So long that there wasn’t any room for pants, short or long. She had the so-called “camel-toe” look happening for her! Ironically her outfit was like Vampirella’s, just not as skimpy. Also, don’t forget the boots. Mustn’t forget the boots! Oh, look! Fishnet leggings too! She looked so yummy with her hair up like that! She didn’t wear a mask, and he found that interesting. But he didn’t ask why not. Maybe he’d do that later.

 Figure 1: Princess Buffy Anne in her Superheroine garb. Hair up & hair down! (Notice that she does have two styles here. One with laces in front, one without.)

He also couldn’t help but notice, that this Princess Buffy Anne’s skin was blemish free!

Now how could they arrange for that without using make-up cosmetics? Aha! The soles on her boots, and the high heals boosted her height a few inches, but how did she walk, let alone run at Superspeed while wearing them? She must truly be something! He was tempted to pull her strings and see what she’d do about it! Part of him thought he must be under the influence of her pheromones or something. Part of him didn’t care at all! Wait a second! Did she have pieced ear lobes?! She must not have Invulnerability then! She probably still had her Super-Strength though. He’d better not tempt his fate any longer!

Angel decided that Spike had had enough fun. It was time to get back on track! So he tapped Spike’s shoulder to signal that he should stop with the digression. Spike stopped dropping names, even though he had learned quite a lot by doing so. Coincidently enough, it was Princess Cordelia’s turn to speak again. Angel asked who his counterpart was with, not quite knowing how to ask such a personal question about himself, knowing himself as he did! Princess Cordelia said that Prince Angel was playing in a celebrity invitational golf tournament hosted by Lord Lorne Kravelorneswath, formerly of the Deathwok Clan of Planet Pylea. Angel thought that was interesting, but instead of digressing with a follow-up, he clarified his question’s intent. So he said, “Cordelia, what…” She held up a finger and corrected him when she said, “Please, it’s always ‘Princess Cordelia’! Now continue!” Angel cleared his throat to swallow his pride. He started again, “Princess Cordelia, what I meant was. Who is your version of me romantically involved with now? Who is Spike romantically involved with now, for that matter?” and Spike nodded in agreement as Angel pointed at him. Then Spike said, “That’s right! Who are we shagging with?!” Princess Cordelia replied, “If you mean, right now? None of us, I can assure you of that much!”  Spike guffawed as Angel mumbled to Spike, “Ah, she sure reminds me of our dearly departed Cordy!”

Princess Cordelia said, “Hey, I heard that! Whispering in mumbles won’t help you! We have Super-Hearing just like Supergirl you know!” Well, they didn’t know that already at all!

Princess Willow felt prompted to speak at that point, when Spike’s guffaw subsided. So she said, “Angel! Your counterpart, Prince Angel Liam Angelus the First, is married to Princess Dreamy Despair Dragon, also known as Princess Dream Despair Free Spirit, depending on whose real estate you happen to be on. If you are with the Lord Emperor and Lady Empress, it is the latter form of address. If you are with my Lord Husband, then the former is apt. It’s complicated I know.

It takes some getting used too, believe me, I know! Sometimes I get my own name confused! But they say I’m too cute to be disappointed with, pat me on my head, and then let be ramble on like I’m doing now. Uh, that would be the Lord Emperor and Lady Empress, not my Lord Husband! Do you think I ramble too much? Hey, does your Miss Willow ramble too? Oh, but that’s not important now. Uh, okay. You have the daughter of Princess Death and her Lord Husband who is also mine. Princess Dreamy Despair is your Primary Wife in your, rather his… No. Wait! Your counterpart who is from where I’m from! He has a Harem-Bevy of eighteen wives, okay! Princess Dreamy is Wife One, the Primary Wife! But your counterpart also happens to have his very own Princess Darla! The same one Princess Buffy Anne was trying to tell you about!  That Princess Darla is your Secondary Wife. Spike! Your counterpart has a Harem-Bevy as well! He is known as, ‘Prince William the Bloody Spike, the First’! His Primary Wife is, Princess Happy Gay Dragon, daughter of Princess Delight Delirium and our Lord Husband. Princess Delight is Princess Death’s younger sister. Prince William’s Secondary Wife is his version of Princess Drusilla, who is the same one Princess Buffy Anne was trying to tell you about. Prince William’s Wives number at twenty-five!”

Spike smiled upon hearing that his counterpart bested Angel’s counterpart at something! Angel also seemed to get that take on it too. Princess Anya said, “I take it by your attitudes that you come from a monogamous society. Well, we aren’t. Ours is a polygamist society. Polygamy was never outlawed here. Monogamy and Polygamy were options that coexisted until Monogamy became obsolete, as it was no longer practical. It became impractical because of three wars. World War III nearly devastated our world, our planet. But due to some interventions, or interference depending on who you ask, the World was sort of restored. Some Mystical Entities had decided to use Humanity as an experiment. The experiment was noted by some Omnipotent Entities, who out of curiosity came to our world to see what was going on. They didn’t like what they saw.”

Princess Anya continued by saying, “So what has been dubbed as another ‘War of the Gods’ ensued, with the Omnipotent Entities winning and the Mystical Entities loosing.” She stopped there with her story and Princess Harmony continued on by saying, “But while they were warring, here on Planet Earth. Well, let me clarify that! On our version of Planet Earth, what had begun as a ‘Battle of the Sexes’ in the sports world, eventually became an all out Gender War. Both wars climaxed at the same time. No pun intended! The Females won the Gender War! Hence the downfall of Monogamy. From a population of six billion Humans, plus or minus a few million or so, before World War III, to an unknown amount that was less than six billion, but more than one million. There has yet to be an accurate census, because a lot of people went into hiding and have yet to come out from wherever they hid out at. When the Mystic Entities intervened, they repopulated our Planet Earth, Our World, with creatures previously designated as either ‘mythical’, ‘supernatural’, or at least ‘paranormal’, to see how well they could get along with us surviving Humans. Humans, who had been using Magic secretly, were thrilled at first. But then we learned that Humans were being used as cattle by more powerful lifeforms, but that we think of as primitive, like Demons, Dragons, et cetera.”

Angel, Spike, and the rest of their team, had become entranced by Princess Willow and the other speakers, and casual chit-chat had ended. The Halliwells were listening in as well. The Old One Illyria was curious too, since she deduced that she may have been classified as a “Mystical Entity”. So she was paying close attention to Princess Harmony’s narrative. The Harem-Bevy had quit taking turns, Princess Harmony had the floor. What Angel and his side didn’t realize was that Princess Harmony had the power to induce harmony into a situation and she was using it now. Even the second set of Charmed Ones were listening to Princess Harmony.

But wouldn’t you know it! Princess Harmony had just gotten everyone’s undivided attention, as her narrative flow was becoming an epic. Their mission, or quest, or chore, or task, forgotten for the moment. Making them appear to be vulnerable. They had thought that they had discovered another interdimensional and temporal nexus point., which allowed people from alternate realities to crossover and maybe meet their counterparts. So of course they felt like they had time to spare for idle pleasantries. Like the one they were engaged in now. But as it turns out, Firecracker had been correct about the new Hellmouth!

The End of Chapter Six!

Book 1: My Charmed Ones!: Ch5”

“Book 1: My Charmed Ones! – Chapter 5”

By:  (Mister) Jimmie Ray Giboney.

Chapter 5: “A Fresh New Episode Of…Well, We’re Not Sure Anymore!”

Part 1: “Dinner with the Charmed Ones of Halliwell Manor”

The Bennet Sisters, but also known as the Halliwell Sisters, since the divorce of their parents consisted of, Piper Halliwell Wyatt, Phoebe Halliwell (former married name “Turner”) and their half-sister, Paige Matthews. There was a Prudence Halliwell Bennet, “Pru” for short, but she died a few years back. Piper, Phoebe, and Paige were at home in “Halliwell Manor”. Baby Wyatt Matthew Halliwell was upstairs asleep in his bed, as the adults were in the kitchen. Chris Halliwell and Leo Wyatt were absent. Since the unfortunate demise of Pru Halliwell, these three were the new “Power of Three Charmed Ones”. They were busy making dinner for tonight. Meanwhile, Chris was with Leo, debating his future existence. Phoebe’s and Paige’s beaus were busy somewhere doing whatever it is they do, when they aren’t with Phoebe and Paige.

Chris had come to the Present from the Future to prevent his older brother Wyatt from becoming an evil tyrant. It took some doing but he succeeded. But in so doing their parents separated and divorced. So with the help of his aunts, Phoebe and Paige, who learned by accident who Chris was, they managed to reunite Piper and Leo, so that Piper would become pregnant with Chris. Piper and Leo learned about this. Now they had another paradox to deal with.

Namely, if the Future has been changed from the way it was when Chris left it, should he go back? Or would there be a different version of Chris already? If Chris could access that version of the Future in the first place? If there was even such a Future, for it was still uncertain as to whether or not Wyatt had been saved from every possible source of evil that could turn him. Or at least simply the most feasible out of every possibility. When Magic existed, then there were more alternatives to consider. On and on they debated.

Marshall, Will, and Holly…err, uh. I mean, Piper, Phoebe, and Paige. As they made their meals, they were talking as usual. They also had the “RCA™ Kitchen Television” set on; in case of a news bulletin they may need to know about. The table was set with the utensils and plates. It was just waiting for the dishes to be set on it as well. 

The salad was set was being set now, with the soup soon to follow. Pasta was the main course, and ice cream was the dessert. The breadsticks, meant to be the appetizers, didn’t last long. They had been nibbled during the meal preparations and so none were left. Piper was still breastfeeding Wyatt, and now she was pregnant again. So no wine tonight.

From the television they heard a news bulletin. “This just in! American Eagle Airlines’ Flight 22, a commuter shuttle from San Francisco to Oakland and back, has been reported as missing. It had been overdue by one hour now. Authorities from the ‘Federal Aviation Administration’ are working with officials from the airline company, to determine what happened. Meanwhile friends and family anxiously await details. Officials from ‘Homeland Security’, do not believe this to be terrorist related, but won’t rule it out at this juncture. Believed to be aboard the flight, is comedian and producer, Andy Dick Wolf. The production meeting he was scheduled to attend has been postponed until more is learned of his fate. Stay tuned to us, and we will keep you updated.”

Phoebe channel surfed at that moment, to see how many channels were covering the event. All of the channels that had news divisions had mentioned it. While those that didn’t were still showing their regular, scheduled programming. Phoebe didn’t get any vibes, as she returned to the TV channel she started with. The one her own show was aired on of course. Her sisters watched her do this, whispering to each other about how sad it was. Not just for the celebrity, but for the others aboard the aircraft too. Phoebe called her station and then her newspaper. Both owned by her billionaire beau. She used his connection to get more details about the event. When she was satisfied, she came to her sisters and told them all she had learned. If the relatively small airplane had crashed, then it was sad. But unless Magic was involved, it was out of their jurisdiction. Chris or Leo would stop whatever it was they were doing, to Orb in and tell them if they were needed.

There are two definitions of “girl”. None of these three females were children anymore, so they didn’t qualify for Definition One. However, for Definition Two, Paige still qualified never having been married to anyone just yet. Piper had married Leo. Phoebe had married Cole. Cole was dead. But Phoebe wasn’t a widow, because the divorce papers had been signed by both parties before Cole’s death. Now she had Justin as a possible husband to be. Piper was getting back with Leo. So Paige was the last girl. Her relationship with Richard was still up in the air, as they say.

The one girl and the two women sat the last of the dishes on the table. Piper summoned Leo and Chris to come join them if they wanted to. Phoebe and Paige went upstairs to get Wyatt. Since Paige Orbed them up, instead of walking; they were up and back in almost no time. As it was, Leo, and Chris, Orbed in on their own power, at the same moment Paige with Phoebe and Wyatt returned. So Piper was treated to a razzle and dazzle show of blue light!

Wyatt was placed in his high chair, in between his father and mother, by both Phoebe and Paige. Leo popped open the bottle of sparkling cider and then filled the drinking glasses. Piper fetched a bottle of her own breastmilk from the refrigerator, so Wyatt could have something to drink, even as they would be feeding him baby food from jars. Chris tossed the salad, and served it. He felt literally weird about this situation. His mother was pregnant with himself! Should he bring this up in conversation? Or should he keep such thoughts to himself? Paradoxes invited headaches! Also, why didn’t the Leprechaun nanny ever join them for meals? Didn’t she get lonely?

The television volume was loud enough to be understood, but low enough to allow dinner conversation. They could hear the network announcer just fine. But of course during the annoying commercials the volume seemed louder! Some reality dating game show was on. By the end of the hour of the program, the family had finished their dining. Now the nanny appeared, to take Wyatt for his post meal bath time. He was still a messy eater! Cute! But messy! The nanny had her work cut out for her. Chris wondered if she would be bathing him eventually. Piper was going to help bathe Wyatt. The rest began to clear the table, taking stuff back to the kitchen for cleaning. The in-between shows commercials were airing now.

The kitchen clean-up assembly line was forming. From Chris’s point of view, it was strange to hear his elders complain about doing dishes manually, when as a child he had been told that this was character building for him, and that he shouldn’t use Magic, and so on and so forth. Ironic, they were treating him as an adult, when he wasn’t even born yet! But not just that, they didn’t seem to be conscious or aware that they were not treating him as the same person Piper was pregnant with. That they were behaving in ways he shouldn’t be seeing! He’s a nephew! He’s a son! How come he wasn’t fading away anyway? If he came from a Future that didn’t exist anymore, so he couldn’t return to it, and there wasn’t room for him in the new Future, because he was already there, shouldn’t this version of himself that he was, not exist anymore? Another headache! He was one of his own bodyguards! Well, at least he wasn’t looking down at his own gravesite! But he had a girlfriend in the Future and he missed her. He wanted to get back to her soon. He didn’t know if she were dead or alive, or ceased to exist at all.

Chris was home, yet he was homesick. He knew he had to stop feeling sorry for himself too.

You know, depending on how many combined broadcast and cablevision channels you have, you can create some funny sentences just by channel surfing! Sometimes this is intentional, sometimes coincidental. With so many people to help do dishes, they were done quickly. So Paige and Phoebe were going to play with the little television set, to demonstrate for Leo what they were saying about making funny sentences. But the commercials were over now for this channel, and the next program was about to begin, and so when it did, Paige and Phoebe stopped the game.

 Part 2: “Do You Believe In Magic?”

The television speakers, well the networks announcer’s voice via the television speakers, started promoting the episode. The man’s soothing voice said, “Now on the home of the Frog, the ‘WB’ is proud to present the fantasy crossover, fans have been calling for! It is an evening of Magic when the cast of characters from the Fantasy drama series, ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and its spin-off series ‘Angel’, meet with the cats of characters from the other Fantasy drama series, ‘Charmed’! With a special appearance by ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ star Melissa Joan Hart! Stay tuned for the world television broadcast premier of, ‘Do You Believe in Magic?’ beginning now!”

Of course they were familiar with the Judy Garland classic movie, “The Wizard of Oz”, and the current Harry Potter phenomenon. They were familiar with the Barbara Eden classic television show, “I Dream of Jeannie” and Elizabeth Montgomery’s competing classic television show, “Bewitched!” and its spin-off starring David Hartman’s daughter Lisa Hartman in, “Tabitha”. They knew about the James Stewart movie classic, “Bell, Book & Candle”. They knew about Catherine Hicks’ sitcom too known as, “Tucker’s Witch” when she played “Amanda Tucker”. They knew about the current “NBC” daytime dramas, “Passions” and “Days Of Our Lives”. They knew about the Disney Animated Movie Classics, based on “The Brothers Grimm” books. They knew of a lot of movies and television programs with a Magical theme.

They even knew about “Casper & Wendy”, “Hocus Pocus”, “Teen Witch” and “The Witches of Eastwich” and “Practical Magic”. They had watched or viewed them all and even critiqued them. They had seen the block of crossing-over series that consisted of the show “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” and its spin-offs, “Xena: Warrior Princess”, “Young Hercules”, and “Amazon High”. But they didn’t know about the titles mentioned for this made-for-television movie!

Where had they been when these shows had apparently aired before?! But what was more alarming to them of course, was hearing the word, “Charmed”! Now how could that be?! Who knew?!

The movie began, and appropriately enough the theme song for the movie was “Do You Believe In Magic?” audible as the opening credits were shown with cartoon-style animation. There was no prologue or teaser. The animation style for the montage was very similar to what they were used to seeing for both “Bewitched!” and “I Dream of Jeannie”, or “The Nanny” for that matter. A very nice homage to those series! By now everyone had moved into the living room to use the bigger television set. They were intrigued! Even Chris forgot about his problems for now. The little nanny returned with a cleaner Wyatt, so they could watch the movie too. Leo and Piper sat with Wyatt between them, on the loveseat. The rest of them sat as well as they could sit on what was left to sit on. The problem was everyone wanted the best seat to view from. It was like they were being drawn towards the television set.

A very cute blonde, introduced herself as being “Sabrina Spellman”, but not as “Sabrina Sawyer”. Beside her was a black cat who introduced himself as “Salem Saberhagen”. That was a lot of “S” names! They explained who they were and what they were about. Then they explained the premise of the movie. So Sabrina and Salem were hosting? It was going to be one of those types of movies?! Well, they weren’t kids, but they’d watch it anyway! What the heck?! Some popcorn magically appeared for the family. Coincidently enough, Sabrina zapped some popcorn for her and Salem to eat as they watched the movie too. This felt natural enough. No cause for alarm there. (Paige did it for them by Orbing in the popcorn from the kitchen! She had simply said, “Popcorn!”)

What did alarm them then? When they saw themselves on the television! But not just them! There was Pru, still alive! But Paige’s name was now, “Pepper Ann”, like the “ABC One Saturday Morning” cartoon show character?! Phoebe was now “Paige”, and the one being called “Phoebe” had them curious too! Who was she?! She looked like “WB” actress Lori Rom! The opening credits hadn’t divulged acting credits, just studio names and creator names, and the name of the band singing the theme song. The main credits would be held for last apparently. Then probably squished vertically to the right side, for promotional and/or commercial footage to be displayed more prominently in the center. The movie version of them also had a cat like Salem. They lived in a space colony?! No sign of Leo, Wyatt, or Chris? They had the same husband and were advocates of polygamy?! San Francisco had been destroyed?!

Then they were shown the Rads. They were shown the tunnels. Now they were watching the stand-off. The movie versions of them were confused too. They thought they knew the two male vampires, and then they decided that they didn’t! While the two male vampires didn’t even know them, but seemed to find them sexually appealing at least. How did they get from San Francisco to Los Angeles, just using sewer system tunnels anyway? They weren’t connected, were they? Hey, had there been any commercial breaks yet?! Were they recording this?! They weren’t! Uh, oh! Somebody better begin recording the movie! So somebody fumbled with the various remote controls until they got something to show a display signifying that they were using “Quick Record”. Just in time for the others to arrive on both sides. Two blondes named “Harmony” were looking at each other, very intently and adoringly as if aroused by what each was looking at, yet still worried and suspicious about each other.

The three guys looked like they were looking at some ghosts at least, if not all ghosts. This must be how Oscar® nominees feel when they watch Billy Crystal interact in their movie, and other not nominated but out that year, as his own version of some of the characters! Who were those actresses that looked so much like them?! How come they didn’t know of them from before?! Leo, Chris and the Leprechaun nanny were getting asked so many questions! Was that how they really looked to other people?! Butts and all?! Did they really sound like that too?! Who had the fetish for the superheroine outfits?! What was going on in general anyway?!

When Chris thought he had heard someone ask, “Why is the sky blue?!” that was it for him! He Orbed out and went to his place for some peace and quiet so that he could think. When Leo heard the question of, “Why is the sky blue?” he gave the old joke answer, “Because it is sad.”, and only when he thought he heard the question, “Does your chewing gum loose its flavor, on the bedpost overnight?” did he feel the urge to escape, and he did. He Orbed out, and went back to be with the other Elders. Now Wyatt had all of the females to himself!

He could tell that his mother and aunts were in the room with him. He could also see them on the television screen. He recognized them despite the masks. He sensed some curiosity, apprehension, and other emotions around him. He didn’t have the intellect yet to know what was going on. But he did think that his mommy should be with his mommy! His aunts too! Before the nanny could warn anyone, or stop Wyatt, the trio of Piper, Phoebe, and Paige, found themselves being absorbed by the television screen as if they had entered a portal to another dimension!

The Leprechaun nanny yelled in alarm, but was too lat to prevent anything! She said, “Oh, Wyatt! What have you done now, sweetie?’ as she stepped further away from the televisions et, subconsciously wanting to avoid also being sucked into the same trouble. She called for Leo and Chris, to no avail. They should have responded, but they didn’t! All she could then think of was to try and get Wyatt to undo whatever it was that he had done. But Wyatt didn’t cooperate! She thought of trying her own brand of Magic, and then decided against it. She could at least make sure she knew where all of the remote controls were, and take control of them. Maybe the recording would be the solution. What else could she do? She had the baby to consider. “What to do?! What to do?!” she said.

The End of Chapter 5!

Book 1: My Charmed Ones!: Ch4

“Book 1: My Charmed Ones! Chapter 4”

By:  (Mister) Jimmie Ray Giboney.

Chapter 4: “An All New Episode Of ANGEL Is Next On The WB.”

The “Angel Investigations” segment of “Wolfram & Hart” had become emotionally drained recently. First, Buffy and her “Scoobies” would barely talk to them via telephone, let alone in persons, because of their new connection to “Wolfram & Hart”. Then just as they thought Cordelia Chase was going to recover from her coma, it turned out she had died instead! Her visit to them was a courtesy call before checking out of the “Hyperion Hotel” permanently. So they had put all of their emotional investment into who was left to them. Miss Winifred “Fred” Burkle. But now she was dead too! An ancient Demoness named “Illyria” now had control of the shell of her body though, which was freaky! The Demoness Illyria had some if not all of Winifred’s memories, but not her personality. Winifred’s soul had been destroyed during the resurrection, so the Demoness Illyria was all they had left of poor Miss Winifred! The Demoness Illyria was going to conquer Planet Earth, until she learned that her own dimension was now a wasteland, and her army of loyal followers was nothing but piles of dust. Her destiny had been foretold and then it was not to be after all. So she was feeling useless, homeless, and grief stricken. Which brought the Winifred memories to the forefront, and now she was feeling empathy with her would-be enemies.

Sure they had tried to kill her, Illyria, but she was too powerful. She had stopped trying to kill anything or anyone. So it was sort of a stand-off. Everyone had felt emotionally drained. Then the intruder-alert alarms sounded. More bad timing!

Angel and Spike were the only ones to respond. They rode the elevator to the basement levels, and then they walked the rest of the way. Eventually they entered the city sewer system part of the basement levels. The section was old, not high tech. They could tell because of the older lights, that this section wasn’t used very much. Then the lights ended and they were in darkness. They were wary, not just of possible intruders, but of old style traps that may be set around here. At least as vampires, they could still see where they were, and how to proceed with caution.

If this was a scene in a movie, you could see them somehow, despite the dark, but since this isn’t a scene in a movie, we get to have no light at all. If it were an animated cartoon, you may at least see some eyes in the dark, and sound-effects words. But this isn’t a cartoon either! Not even a comic panel or strip!

So forget the damn lights!  It’s dark! Get?! Dark! You can’t see them, unless you have super eyesight too! Scratch that! You’re reading a paragraph! You can’t see them except in your imagination! So, in your imagination, to be accurate, don’t provide them with any lighting either. Okay?

Angel and Spike heard someone, or something, making some commotion up ahead. It sounded like some old-style traps had been activated. So Angel and Spike stopped moving. The trap sounds ended. Then they saw some flashes of light as magical energy flashed about the tunnel. They had heard a feminine voice casting the spell too. It didn’t sound like anyone they knew, but it did sound like witchcraft was being practiced. So they knew witches, or at least one, was ahead of them somewhere. If only Willow would talk to them! Not that a cellular telephone would work down here so far below ground level anyway, but the option would be nice to have anyway.

Then began walking ahead again, until they got within spitting distance of the witch in question, and she didn’t look like a witch! She had a mask, but she was not the “Lone Ranger”, or the “Green Hornet”! Nor a skier, or a bank robber, but she was dressed like some sort of comic book character. They could appreciate her inherent sex appeal. They were about to introduce themselves to her, when suddenly four other women dressed sort of like her appeared out of nowhere! There had been no flash of light to signal their sudden arrival either! They were just there! Now they knew how others must have felt when they had used Superspeed against them!

They were startled and surprised and awestruck so much, they fell backwards off of their feet. They hit the concrete with their butts. They saw the witches not dressed like witches, watching them intently. Angel and Spike got back to their feet as the newcomers waved at them, and the first one greeted them as if she knew them! “Hi, guys! Are you here because of the potential Hellmouth? Or is this your idea of camping out?” she had said to them. Then as the guys, which they were, tried to deal with this person who seemed to know them, but they didn’t recognize in their minds, the gals suddenly assumed fighting stances. Talk about mood swings!

The guys decided to remain in neutral stances, while they faced the lovely intruders in their far out garb. Two guys, five gals, standing in the dark facing off with, or at, each other, in a sort of sewer. “Did this still count as a sewer? Or was it a secret entrance and exit to the office tower complex?” Angel was thinking. He must have mumbled loud enough to be heard. Because Spike replied, “I’d say it would be a secret exit or entrance. But is there a point or do you just like to hear yourself out loud? Bloody Hell, Angel! Those are the first words you say?”

Spike also said, “Pardon us, ladies! We don’t mean to be rude by ignoring you. But now, would you care to explain why you’re here?” Then embarrassed Angel said, “You act like you know us, but I don’t recall you? I happen to have a photographic memory too.”

But before the masked ones could answer, the duo saw their shadows suddenly appear on the masked ones, as if a light were suddenly shining from behind the duo. Which it turned out to be. Before the guys could turn around however, the first one they had encountered said, “Harmony? Is that you? Why are you over there, behind Angel and Spike? That was Princess Piper. Princess Prue said, “With a big flashlight?” Princess Phoebe and Princess Paige said, “Harmony, beware! They smell like bloody vampires!”

Now Angel and Spike didn’t have to turn around, because Harmony had indeed arrived with a big flashlight in one hand, and a weapons bag in the other. She pushed herself between the male vampires, as she shined her bright flashlight at the ladies. Harmony said, “Yes, I’m Harmony! Because I was already on this side and it was the easiest approach. Angel is my boss, and Spike is my sort-of boyfriend. Hey! How do you know me!? I don’t know any of you! I think? It was the first flashlight that I could find. I know they’re vampires! I’m a vampire too!”

The Charmed Ones could stare at any sun all day, and not blink, and suffer no harm. So the flashlight wasn’t bothering them. But Angel and Spike were annoyed by Harmony playing with the light as she stood in between them. She was checking out the other “chicks”, from heads to toes. Comparing fashion senses and cleavage, the usual female routine. Angel’s and Spike’s eyes had to readjust to having such a bright light source again. Harmony said to her pals, “What’s up with the masked chicks?”

Harmony had arrived; wearing a sexy, white dress that she thought let people know how hot she was sexually, yet was still dignified enough for a business office, like a law firm. The “masked chicks” as Harmony had described them, had also checked her out from head to toes. More so than they had the two males. So they did notice the weapons bag she had lugged with her.

Harmony tossed the heavy bag to Spike and the flashlight to Angel, without warning. The guys grunted as they reacted just in time to catch the tossed items. They didn’t fumble! Harmony had tossed the items so her arms and hands would be free to strike a pose. Her feet shoulder width apart. Her hands placed on her hips, elbows out. She had a determined look, and a confused look, on her face. She began to subconsciously tap her right shoe. She was like an indignant Shirley Temple! She looked cute, but not in an innocent way as the child star had. Harmony didn’t appreciate being placed in situations where she looked stupid to her peers! Let alone her superiors! Not to mention those she considered her inferiors! She just didn’t like to look stupid in front of anyone. Friend or foe.

Ironically, she wasn’t always aware of such moments. That was her sort of innocence, which she had about her. In this tunnel, with the bright flashlight as the only source of light. With it now behind her, in Angel’s hands. With Harmony in white. Her outfit showed off her sexy figure very well! In this lighting you could see what she had to offer! Spike was used to it. Angel wasn’t! The Charmed Ones had seen their Harmony nude, let alone in an outfit like this. So it was Angel who averted his gaze and the flashlight away from Harmony, subconsciously.

When he did so, another beam of light had replaced his. Now they were suddenly aware that Wesley had arrived! He had his gun with him. The same one that he had used to shoot people recently, who he felt weren’t giving enough attention to Winifred’s problems. The Demoness Illyria in Winifred’s body shell, with nothing better to do, had followed Wesley. She still looked sad and scary. The light got brighter by one more flashlight, as Lorne arrived too. Gun wouldn’t be making it, as he was still in recovery from having been stabbed by Wesley. That made it for all of them. Angel. Spike. Harmony. Wesley. Faux-Winifred/Illyria. Lorne. Standing across from, Princess Prue, Princess Piper, Princess Phoebe, Princess Paige, and Princess Pepper Ann.

The Charmed Ones gasped when they saw Illyria’s new Demonic look. Other than that, they had yet to reply to Harmony. Now it was the other side’s turn to gasp. As if appearing out of thin air, behind the Charmed Ones, some more ladies had arrived using Superspeed! Princess Buffy II. Princess Faith. Princess Willow. Princess Dawn. Princess Amy. Then, another gasp as more arrived! Princess Anya. Princess Tara. Princess Cordelia. Princess Winifred. And then another Harmony! Princess Harmony! Of course, the “Fang Gang” was still unaware of their ladies Royal titles.

There was some awkward silence that followed. Then “The Host” Lorne said, “Are we being Punked?!”

The End of Chapter 4!

Book 1: My Charmed Ones!: Ch3

 “Book 1: My Charmed Ones”

By:  (Mister) Jimmie Ray Giboney.

Chapter 3: “Vampire Nest?”

The alleged vampires had stopped at twenty paces, and were now looking at Princess Piper with puzzled expressions on their faces. That’s when Princess Piper’s sisters, and yes, she didn’t distinguish her half-sister from the three “full” sisters anymore, except in legal and medical matters where it mattered most. That’s when they arrived to back her up! Perfect timing! Their sudden appearance had a humorous affect on the vampires who were startled and fell backwards with surprise and awe, as opposed to, “shock and awe”!

There were only two vampires, meaning both were males, as opposed to vampiresses that would be females. “Vamp” and “Vamps” were the preferred gender-neutral terminology.  These were two male Humans who had been turned, as opposed to say, bull bovines! One was a relatively tall brown haired guy. The second was slightly shorter, with brown hair dyed platinum blond. The Sisters recognized the duo at once. It was Angel, once known as “Angelus”, and his side-kick buddy, Spike, once known as “William the Bloody”. The City of Los Angeles, California, U.S.A., was supposed to be their home turf. Yet, here they were in old, Sand Francisco. But then again, city limits, county lines, state lines, and national borders, didn’t count for much these days. Not since the whole planet had undergone such a major shift in, from what once was considered the status quo, to this new era. The borders now were good for police, and other law enforcement jurisdictions. But not for military defense matters, like they used to be. But Princess Piper’s thoughts were digressing. This had begun as her encounter, so she should be doing some talking about now, rather than thinking about old and new political policies and stuff like that.

So she spoke first, just to break the metaphorical ice. Her sisters waved at the guys, as the guys recovered and rose to their respective feet. The guys were sort of family to them. Angel and Spike had each married one of their husband’s daughters from one of the more elder wives. Yes, it was a complicated family tree. The difference now, was not only did they have their souls back, they no longer were blood-thirsty vampires inhabited by evil Demons subdued by their Human souls. Their father-in-law had removed those curses, but left them with the powers. Oh, but not the same weaknesses anymore. Holy Water, sunlight, fire, garlic, weren’t deadly to them anymore.  They could turn their mirror reflections on and off at will.

They could bare fangs without turning ugly now. Basically, they had all of the benefits of Vampirism, but none of the Drawbacks. Or else they wouldn’t be suitable husbands for Princesses!

Their wardrobe didn’t involve masks. They had comfortable clothes that they changed of course, as needed. For their heroic look, they got by with just wearing long heavy coats, instead of capes or cowls, et cetera. Somehow they pulled it off. They got away with it. No sense in being annoyed by it though. A gentle squeeze reminded her, Princess Piper, that her costume was considered sexy to the one person it mattered too most, and she stopped thinking about their attire.

Princess Piper said, “Hi, guys! Are you here because of a potential Hellmouth? Or is this your idea of camping out?” while her sisters had been waving and the guys had recovered to their feet. Then Princess Piper thought of something. The guys had stumbled! That shouldn’t have happened! Something was wrong with this metaphorical picture! Or was it a “proverbial picture”? Anyway, her sisters caught on just as she did. Then she also remembered that she hadn’t liked how they smelled. They had both smelled to her like vampires who still drank blood! But seeing their faces had made her forget about that impression. What was that rule about first impressions?

So maybe this was a vampire nest after all? Just not with whom she expected! Princess Piper and her sisters tensed, ready for action!

The End of Chapter 3!

Book 1: My Charmed Ones!: Ch2

“Book 1: My Charmed Ones!”

By:  (Mister) Jimmie Ray Giboney.

Chapter 2: “The Charmed Ones Go Underground”

Princess Paige said, “Hey! If you say ‘manhole cover’ or ‘manhole’, no one gives it much thought. But if you were to say, ‘woman hole’, people are likely to think of something sexual, right? Then if were to say, ‘woman hole cover’, would you think of a pair of panties, a bikini, shorts, or some old-fashioned, feminine hygiene product?”, as her sisters laughed and/or smirked at the visual imagery that came to their respective minds. Princess Prue was removing an old manhole cover that had been fused to its rims where it had been resting for years. The stench would have made them retch, in the past when they were mere human witches. They found it annoying still, but they weren’t made ill by it. They waved their hands in front of their faces and held their noses nevertheless. Princess Pepper Ann smiled and then said, “Maybe we should knock first?” Princess Piper smiled and then knocked on the manhole cover, or lid, that Princess Prue was still holding onto, even as Princess Phoebe and Princess Paige said, “Are there any ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ down there?!”, down into the dark depths. Their shouts echoed back to them.

Princess Prue set the lid down next to the hole, before forgoing the ladder in favor of leaping down. She called for the others to follow her down and they did, leaping down or dropping down, one at a time. Being able to see in the dark as well as they could see in light, they had no need for candles, flashlights, flares, glowing crystals, torches, lamps, or night-vision goggles. Yes, they were in their so-called “Superheroine Mode”, but they had obtained plenty of marital bliss fringe benefits, and being able to see in any lighting condition or darkness condition was one of them. So if you were watching this on a monitor or television set, you’d feel frustrated about now, having only their voices to hear alone and maybe some ambient light to look at, now and then. So just use your imaginations here! The old, sewer system lights went dead a long time ago!

They began walking in the one direction they had to walk, singing the theme song to “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” as they did. They completed the song by the time they got to the end of the tunnel. They were disappointed that there had been no light at the end of it. Other than singing the song, as they walked the Princesses picked up objects they found. Some objects were litter, and others were old toys, shoes, or other items like that.

The litter went into one “Deep Pocket”, a brand name in competition with “Magic Pocket”; the lost objects now found, went into another “Deep Pocket”. Their walk affectively cleaned the tunnel out. Discounting what should be there, that is. The litter would become material for recycling. The lost objects would be repaired and/or restored to like-new condition, and returned to their owners if possible. Well, make that feasible. As the old saying goes: “Finders keepers! Losers weepers!” (Don’t ever think it is, “Finders keepers! Loser sweepers!”)

If they encountered the remains of dead life forms, they tagged the bodies, or remains, and the bodies or remains, were then teleported and/or transported away to the morgue at home. Well, not in their quarters! But in their new, orbiting “home town”, the geostationary orbiting platform known as, Space Station San Francisco that was built to replace the old, land based city they were in now. It was stationed right above the old city ruins, so at night it would be visible.

No plants, dead or alive, were found, but there were a few dead sewer rats. None of them looked like “Splinter” though! No other signs of turtles or even alligators. Some dead sewer workers, of the Human type were found however. The station’s morgue laboratory would verify the rats as rats, before putting them in jars filled with preservatives like formaldehyde. The Humans would get an autopsy, which was policy, but in this case not just to confirm the cause of death, but to identify the remains. Then their families would be notified if any could be found still alive. The Princesses had the Super Power of “Total Recall”, also known as a “photographic memory”, but that didn’t help other people. So every time they found something, or someone, they had paused long enough to take holographic scans, for the record. They felt more like “C.S.I.” this way, and less like tomb raiders and/or relic hunters. But yet, they only had to sing the song once! Now they were at a junction in the tunnel. Perfect! Princess Prue could take one. Princess Piper could take one. “The Twins” as they were often enough simply referred to as, Princess Phoebe and Princes Paige, could take one. Princess Pepper Ann could take one too.

The Walk of Princess Prue:

Princess Prue chose the first tunnel to the left. The junction had a sign that at one time had a legible warning label on it. Other than that, there were no artifacts to be recovered there. Her chosen tunnel appeared to be level as she crossed the entrance point. Looking ahead, the tunnel appeared to be litter free. That was good! The tunnel also appeared to be dead rat free. That was better! The tunnel also appeared to be dead human free. That was best! She surmised that the rats and workers closest to the manhole cover had tried to make their way there to exit. The rats too big to fit through the keyhole, were trapped. The Humans couldn’t open the lid, because it had been fused shut before they got there. That explains that. As for litter, well this tunnel was too far away to be affected by litterbugs and storms above. As Princess Prue finished that line of thought, she was walking, as stealthy as a breeze.

Eventually, she came to some rubble. She named the pile of rubble “Barney” as a point of reference for herself, in her mental mapping efforts. There was some sunlight above, which she realized was from a storm drain. She saw no point in removing the rubble. So instead she leaped up to the storm drain, and hanging on to the edge, she pulled herself up just high enough to see the view of the outside world from this vantage point. Then as she pulled herself through the storm drain, happy that it was impossible for her to become overweight and/or obese, another marital bliss fringe benefit, she thought of how she had never been in the sewer tunnel before, but she recognized the location outside. Once all the way outside, she stood up. Slowly rotating, she surveyed the area. In the past she wouldn’t have given this storm drain much notice. But now she had found herself by their old elementary school playground. As memories came to her mind of her long ago girlhood youth, her eyes’ tear ducts began to cry.

The Walk of Princess Piper:

Princess Piper got the second tunnel from the left as her route to explore. The sign had been worthless to her too. The tunnel, as she entered it, appeared to slant downwards. But it wasn’t as if she were wearing high-healed shoes. If she had some on, she would have felt level still on this slant or grade. She would look silly walking around barefoot. But because she was wearing long pants, silver with black stripes, the boots were barely noticeable anyway. She suddenly realized she was distracting herself from what she should be doing. No longer thinking about her clothing, she proceeded down the slanted walkway of the tunnel. Her tunnel was also a clean one.

She must have walked at least a kilometer if not a mile, without incident. Then she detected a trap! Traps were always so fun! Besides, her husband was with her, if she needed help, but she doubted it. So she tapped the trap with her left boot, testing how much pressure was required to set it off. A very large rat’s weight wouldn’t have set it off. Heavy trash, maybe? Something like an alligator or heavier would do it. She could peek and see what sort of trap would be released, but that would spoil the surprise! She had once tagged along with Princess Lara Croft and Princess Sydney Chase, two more of the wives in the Harem-Bevy, during one of their relic quests. Ever since then, Princess Piper had been smitten with that sort of activity as a fun hobby for herself, including the traps. Anyway, she decided to set her full weight down, and then she tensed in anticipation. Her wait wasn’t long!

She could hear the darts, the bolts, and the arrows flying towards her! Should she get some exercise and practice in, by blocking and dodging them? Or just let them hit her? Her curiosity won out, wanting to know where the impact points would be. So she stood upright, and very still, almost at attention. No surprise then, that most of them tried to hit her heart’s general area. Whoever had designed the trap, had taken variable heights into consideration. So some bounced off of her face. A few bounced off of her abdomen.

Some bounced off of her crotch, hips, and thighs. Some hit her shoulders and arms. One hit her left hand. The rest bounced off of her bust. Some shattered on impact, some merely dropped. Most ricocheted. She waited for them to cease flying about. Then she giggled! She didn’t have to check her clothing for damage, or her flesh for harm. She was still spotless. She had enjoyed the tickling!

When the giggling stopped, she cast a spell that gathered the weapons into her “Deep Pocket” for found objects. She too holographic scans of the trap set-up, for later analysis. She wanted to pull the whole thing apart, to take home for her collection of traps she had accumulated over time. But she had to settle for the floor plate. Once she had removed it, she was ready to go the rest of the way.

The second trap had two horizontal blades, one from each wall that tried to decapitate her. She ducked, and the blades had reset into their wall niche. This time she took not just the floor plate, but the two blades from the wall. She had ducked to avoid damaging them. Then she changed her mind about the previous traps’ wall pipes. She went back and removed them from the wall. Then she realized she was letting her hobby distract her from her mission. No fair! So she cast a spell that gathered every detectable trap, intact, and let the magic do her work for her. That done, she could proceed with no more such distractions!

Cheating like that with her hobby had made her think of something else. How could the sewers survive the earthquake, the flooding, and the bomb blasts?! That was easy to answer! Magic! Why were there traps down here? Somebody, mystical perhaps, had something to hide, and/or protect. It is a wonder the sewer workers had managed to avoid this area. Unless magic covered that too?

She realized her activity had managed to attract someone’s, or something’s, attention. She could hear movement. She opted to stand her ground and let it come closer to her. Knowing full well that she had the upper hand. She could see them, hear them, smell them, and feel the vibes of their movements. If she stuck her tongue out, she could probably taste them from the molecules in the stale air. Her pheromone detectors were repulsed by them!

She had stumbled into the lair of some thirsty looking vampires! She, Princess Piper Halliwell Free Spirit, also known as, Princess Piper Halliwell Dragon, was no screamer however. She just stood her ground like a statue.

The Walk of Fraternal Twins Princess Phoebe & Princess Paige:

Princess Phoebe and Princess Paige, although not identical twins, just fraternal twins, hated to be separated for very long time periods. Their other sisters would tease them, and say that they practically like conjoined twins! (Popularly known as “Siamese Twins”.) Joined at the hip. They had dubbed their chosen tunnel as “Tunnel Three”. Their tunnel was level for awhile, and then it sloped down, and leveled off again, plus it was a clean tunnel and easy going for both of them.

But now their tunnel was broken and blocked! There was a giant piece of steel-reinforced concrete slab in front of them. They opted to push against it. As a team they pushed it forward slightly. The ground rumbled and grated, and dust, gravel, and other bits of debris fell down towards them, before bouncing away leaving them still spotless. Suddenly the huge slab fell away from them with a large “THUD!” and the slab became part of an avalanche of debris that slid down a slope and away from the sisters. At one time, the sisters would have fallen too, but now they were still standing on what had become a ledge. Despite the dust cloud that had erupted around them, there was noticeable sunlight suddenly shining on them.

The twins had stumbled onto one of the bomb blast craters. They didn’t cry out any alarms either. But they did have some memories and shed a few tears of their own for their once beloved city.

The Walk of Princess Pepper Ann:

Princess Pepper Ann, she got the very last tunnel, “Tunnel 4”. The other’s tunnels must be more interesting she thought. With twists, turns, slopes, and maybe some length worth mentioning. She had a clean tunnel too. But she got about fifty (50) yards, when she came to a ladder. She climbed it of course, and she had to unseal the fused shut, manhole cover, before she made her upward exit of the tunnel. Of course, she was still in the Rads’ colony! As she looked around, she tapped a foot. She was the only one whose costume had a micro-mini-skirt. But this was no breeze up it! She went back into the manhole, pulling the lid back into place after her.

At the bottom of the ladder, she went back the way she had come. This time she ran! The others were not at the junction. She had to decide who to catch up with now. Or so she first thought. For suddenly, everyone but Princess Piper was standing next to her. That was the thing about Superspeed running! Unlike the glow of Orbing, or Teleporting. There was just the sound of wind zipping. Then suddenly the runner would be there, like a starship dropping out of warp speed!

Princess Prue’s costume was like Princess Piper’s. Long pants. Princess Phoebe and Princess Paige wore identical hot pants outfits. Also known as “short-shorts”, or “Daisy Dukes”. Princess Pepper Ann had the only skirt on, of any kind. She didn’t mind though as it made sex a whole lot easier. Princess Prue and Princess Piper may have had long pants on, but where Princess Piper’s costume as a whole, was silver with black trim, and a gold belt buckle. Princess Prue’s was golden with black trim, and a platinum buckle. Princess Pepper Ann was still amazed that when they wore these outfits, people thought of them as “Superheroines”. They could wear goddess togas, or be nude. They could wear traditional, or “Halloween-style”, witch costumes, and they were still the same powerful beings. Yet unless they wore these sexy costumes, with the black masks, people wouldn’t think of them as “super-heroic”. She thought that odd!

She, Princess Pepper Ann, was going to start another train of thought, as they waited for Princess Piper. Instead, Princess Prue told them that perhaps they should go to Princess Piper instead. But Princess Pepper Ann, she then told them where she had been, which prompted them to say where they had went. Princess Prue’s anecdote was the most poignant to them. Princess Phoebe’s and Princess Paige’s, was interesting enough too. Princess Pepper Ann, hers she decided was the boring one. Then when she was done, they ran to Princess Piper’s location in her choice of tunnel.

The End of Chapter Two!